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Val Warner, BA
MSW RSW
When
I graduated with my Masters Degree and
found my first job in an Ottawa psychiatric
clinic, I admit I was terrified. I was
part of a 'team' approach - the others
being a psychiatrist, family physician,
psychologist, and a nurse. It was bad
enough that I felt intimidated by the
experience, age, and expertise surrounding
me. What made it worse was that I was
convinced that every term bandied about
- psychotic, neurotic, paranoid, inadequate,
etc. etc. - referred to me, too! I acted
confident on the outside, but inside I
was scared someone would see through my
acting and discover the insecure little
girl who lurked below the surface.
As
time passed, and after getting to know
my colleagues better, it slowly dawned
on me that all of us - male or female,
young or old - were hiding our true selves
behind a mature 'know it all' façade.
What was hidden? The longing to be liked
for who we really were, with our imperfections
and frailties. In fact, this is the very
essence of counseling - helping people
to like themselves with their own unique
flaws. Only then can we be more accepting
of others and their idiosyncrasies.
Good
counsellors see themselves as equal, not
superior, to those who come to them for
guidance. In my own case it wasn't until
I had counseling myself, provided by our
clinic director Dr. Erwin Koranyi, that
I started making headway in the area of
self-acceptance. Unless we face, and overcome,
similar struggles it is hard to help others
in difficulty.
Parenting
provided an amazing learning experience.
Until I had my first child I thought it
would 'come naturally'. My first hour
home with my brand new daughter convinced
me it wasn't going to be so easy, and
by the time she was 2 years old I was
desperately in need of a good parenting
course. Not only did I enroll in one,
I went on to teach the course in the following
years, giving validity to the old expression
"you teach what you want to learn."
I laugh (and shudder) at some of the advice
I gave to parents before I had kids of
my own and found out it is the best, and
definitely the hardest, job in the world!
Historically
our society has preached independence
and self-reliance when it comes to family
problems, however we can all benefit at
times from the help of others. Dentists
need dental work themselves just like
everyone else, but the right one can still
fix your teeth. The same holds true for
counselors. Good ones are honest and will
admit they never have their lives under
perfect control. No one does. But a counselor
may, through his/her own personal growth
and professional development, be able
to help you find more fulfillment in your
life by sharing some of their insights.
For
a print ready version of De-Mystifying
Counselling click
here
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